Bedlam next stop...

I'm not superstitious so the seagull that deposited it's digested breakfast upon me as I walked down Union Street this morning can go to hell. There I was, minding my own business, skipping along to catch a bus to the airport and wallop, a pesky seagull let's fly and my trousers now give the appearance that I'm a painter & decorator. It's tough being a Christian sometimes, I often ask God why he created seagulls and pigeons. And Birmingham City.

I made Aberdeen airport in good time for the flight to Gatwick where I now find myself sitting in a departure lounge for three hours before the connecting flight to Florida. The first flight went well, I snored all the way since it was an early one but the pilot's attempt at landing was aborted due to aerial clutter. The old granny next to me was having kittens, I tried to console her but she was having none of it, convinced the end was nigh. She looked about ninety years of age so she might well be right if that's not too heartless a sentiment.

Chris told me to bring two things to Florida to keep his good wife happy; a box of Oxo cubes and a huge white chocolate Toblerone. Well there's good news and there's bad news. I acquired both but only one remains and you can guess which one met its end, let's put it this way, the remaining item would typically be used as stock for a casserole. Well you try sitting in an airport departure lounge for four hours staring at a tube of Toblerone, don't tell me you wouldn't crack. I'll make up for it, they give you a boiled sweet on the plane so I'll give that to Taisha instead, I know she'll understand.

Gatwick airport is massive, I had to get a tram from one terminal to another and there's more retail outlets than Union Square. Thankfully it's not too busy though, word must have spread that I was headed this way so people have put their jollies off for another twenty four hours. There was a stag party in full swing at the airport bar, I bypassed grown men in fancy dress drinking themselves to a standstill, it's kinda surreal watching Mickey Mouse and Charlie Chaplin in conversation over a pint of lager. For my part I'm off in search of a telly to watch Wimbledon and to drink the first of several cups of coffee. Is Florida ready for a pebble dashed Englishman full of white chocolate and high on excitement? We will see, but more to the point is this Englishman ready for two weeks of his youngest brother's breathtaking antics and random recipes? I love you Chris and one of the things I love most is your uniqueness, however, the prospect of a fortnight's cheddar cheese curries, carrot and pineapple soup and blue steaks garnished with haggis salads does not fill me with glee. We'll get through though I know it, or we'll have Mum to contend with.