Bye bye sunshine state ☀️

The last day of a holiday stinks, feels like you're walking to the gallows. All that sun and fun I'm leaving behind not to mention my family, nae guid. Still, I'll be back again but only if the American authorities will have me, I blotted my copybook when being pulled up for jaywalking and I got the major hump when a shopkeeper charged me tax on my postcards.

This has been more of a fourteen day therapy session than a holiday in the sun. We all face stuff in our lives don't we and some of it can be pretty unpleasant, it's been my turn lately, but what did CS Lewis say?....'Suffering is God's megaphone to get our attention.' We get through it given time and I'm confident that the things I've learned since being here in Florida have set me up for only good things to come. My brother Chris has never been backward in coming forward and has put me straight on a couple of things in his own inimitable way, he's been a real tonic. Donna has been a terrific person to meet too and I've offered her employment as my life coach, she's giving the 8,000 mile round trip some thought otherwise she'll continue as a dog walker from her own doorstep, I don't rate my chances.

What will I remember most about being here? Well in no particular order of importance...I learned that routine is an essential part of life, running does me the world of good, introducing Taisha to a local church was a thrill, so was reintroducing Chris to the game of golf, I've learned how important family is, discovered that setbacks can make you stronger if you approach them correctly, accepted that I enjoy reading bedtime stories more than my audience do, realised God has a plan for our lives (yes that includes you!) we just need to listen to him, I found out jaywalking is illegal in America and if you smile the world smiles with you (dunno about that one, just threw it in to look good.)

But there is an upside to the end of a holiday and that's the excitement you get at the prospect of being in the arms of your children again, they'll cuddle me for a full three seconds before demanding the sweeties I promised. Two weeks is a long time and I'm well excited about seeing them. I'm back in Aberdeen airport about 8.30pm on Thursday to fight through the autograph hunters to the stretch limo that awaits if my agent's been on the case, either that or I'll get the bus to town. Friday night will see me terrorise the lugholes of the Mearns again from 7-9pm, that's if Mearns FM haven't sacked me for going AWOL.

All that remains is to present my holiday song to you and thank Chris, Taisha, Coralea and Erik for the wonderful hospitality and love they've shown me this last two weeks. Over and out for the final time from downtown Boca Raton, Florida.

Couch potatoes rock

First off, thanks to those of you who've been reading my blog. I've had thousands of views and am much obliged, the blog grew longer legs than I expected and it's encouraging to know my mutterings haven't been disappearing into a black hole.

I reckon I'm gonna be travelling home tomorrow with one regret, that I didn't take more time to look around while out here. Apart from running 5k every day all I've done is sit on my fat arse. I could have been to the beach, played golf, tried something different but instead I've stayed indoors. In my defence it's stiflingly hot here, ninety degrees and more, so you don't feel like sightseeing, aircon is your best friend. I've not been a complete washout though, I've read loads, written plenty and drank enough coffee to replenish an ocean, all in a successful effort to relax, recuperate and rebuild. Job done, the challenge now is to continue this positive approach to life when I return to Scotland but when you have God on your side you can't fail 😇.

This afternoon I'm having a farewell coffee with Donna, the lovely lady who introduced me to the church I visited on Sunday. We met during my first week here, she's what us Brits call a lollipop lady and she escorted me and the kids across the road to summer camp every morning. On my way back I'd stop to chat with her and the insights she's shared with me have been really encouraging, she really ought to become a life coach. I feel I owe her a lot, but I don't have a lot so she'll have to make do with a doughnut in Starbucks later, I might push the boat out and get her a chocolate one. I mention Donna to encourage you and implore you to look around and smell the roses because sometimes a person is placed in your path who can redirect your thoughts and be a tremendous force for good, embrace these people who are put in your way, don't let a blessing pass you by. Here endeth the first lesson according to Alexander Russon.

What should I do with the last day of my holiday tomorrow? Brave the heat and get down to the beach? Go on a mega run? Buy some inexpensive trinketry and pap? I've got a couple of quid left so it's odds on that my flight bag will be crammed with Hershey's and candy. I'm determined not to spend another day on my derrière so am all ears if you have any suggestions.

Thank you once again for being a wunnerful audience, one more posting to go (tomorrow) and then you can relax. If any of you write a blog too please let me know, I'd love to read it and advertise it.

With love and all God's blessings to you.
Alex

Heartbroken man 😪

I'm sad to report that hot on the heels of my best day of the holiday I've now suffered my worst. It feels almost too painful to talk about but in an effort to dust myself down and move on I'm hoping that writing about it may prove cathartic.

I've allowed myself in recent time to become besotted by something to the point that nothing else has mattered in my life. My every waking moment, and my dreams too, were devoted in this direction and I never wanted it to end, but end it has and I feel utterly heartbroken. Better to have loved and lost so the saying goes but I'm here to tell you that's a load of bo**cks, it hurts like hell. For yesterday, at around about 7pm British time or 2pm here in Florida, Justin Speith rolled in the putt that signalled the end of the 2017 British Open and with it my relationship with the one true companion I've had since arriving in Florida; the telly. I was welcomed in by a few days Wimbledon coverage and moved seemlessly on to the golf but now, it's Monday morning and I'm totally bereft, just me and Charlie (Chris's pesky black Labrador) for company. I fly home Thursday evening so have four days to kill without television unless I'm prepared to suffer Erik's Disney films or Coralea's Hey Jessie or whatever it's called. Some might consider me shallow for spending a fortnight in America doing nothing but punctuating marathon TV sessions with dips in the swimming pool but I call that relaxation and time very well spent thank you very much so up yours.

Tell you what I'll do. I'll put together the finishing touches to the book I've finished writing since being out here and lay plans for my radio show return on Friday night. I have a guest between 8-9pm,  I hope listeners understand if my snoring is broadcasted because I'll be jet lagged big time. I've been given permission to start a blog for Mearns FM too so I'm gonna plan that today. Perhaps now would be a good time to inform any fellow presenters that keep leaving complaints about my kitchen hygiene in the log book to wind their necks in or retribution will be sought vis a vis my blog so think on 😬.

Over and out from an overcast Boca Raton but not so overcast that I can't do a Peter Kay style bomb into this pool in front of me. That's if there's any water left, Charlie keeps drinking from it the filthy animal.

Blessed beyond measure

I reckon today has been my favourite day of the holiday which is saying something because it's been bostin all the way through. It started with another run and once again I got chatting to somebody along the way, there's a pattern forming, they see me gasping for air and take pity on me. This guy asked me if I was okay and suggested I sit in the shade the cheeky so and so, I thought he was calling 911 when he got his phone out but he was in fact receiving a call. Rather randomly, after we'd said our goodbyes, he called me back to instruct me to watch the solar eclipse on August 21st, he was most insistent about it, but given I'll be four thousand miles from him by then I doubt he'll notice if I don't bother.

Then I went to church which was a tremendous thrill since I took Taisha, Coralea and Erik with me. We went to Glades Presbyterian which is just five minutes away and came recommended, this link takes you to it... Glades. What lovely people there were there, so welcoming, it's just a shame it's a 4,000 mile commute of a Sunday for me but hopefully Taisha and co will keep going back. It's incredible how often I'll listen to a sermon and it feels like it was written precisely for me, today was another example of that and I'm thankful to God. I won't give you the full nine yards but know this, God loves you and has a plan for your life, you just need to open yourself up to it, end of sermon!

And now I'm back in front of the telly as the British Open reaches its climax. I've been proved wrong and the Speith coronation is not materialising, he's having a mare. Looks like an interesting last hour ahead. Chris has been golfing too and is due back shortly, I hope he had a stinker or I'm gonna get a three hour blow by blow account of his round, no bore like a golfing bore.

When in Rome

It was my pleasure to take a very attractive young woman for coffee today, a most agreeable way to start the weekend. The damsel in question is called Taisha and is my sister in law, I figured the least I could do after subjecting her to ten days of my presence was to buy her a drink. We went in search of a diner to no avail so wound up in McDonald's, well, when in Rome and all that, you can't come to America and skip McDonald's. Taisha had milkshake and I had coffee, I know how to spoil a woman. I sent the first coffee back mind, they put cream in it not milk which is a complete perversion of common decency, they made up for it with a free refill though, would love to see the reaction if I asked for that in Aberdeen.

It was proper hot today, scorching, so I took the trouble to spend the day in front of the goggle box watching the golf. Jordan Speith is marching to victory by such a margin that I probably won't bother watching the final round tomorrow, I'll be in church when he's playing anyway, I'm looking forward to taking Taisha, Coralea and Erik while Chris is playing golf. Afterwards there's a chance we'll go to the beach which is a whole different experience here in Florida compared to Stonehaven. I won't need my cardy for a start and the last time I was on Stoney beach I don't recall volleyball and beach soccer being played. I'm not knocking Stonehaven though, I miss the place and look forward to being back but I have five days of my hols left first during which time I intend to complete the following -

1) Developing the body of an Adonis. I've been running and doing push ups every day, people stop me on the street/sidewalk asking me how they too could look so fit, I've told them to check me out again on my last day by which time my mission will be complete.

2) Walking my niece and nephew to summer camp and making them laugh. My jokes so far have fallen on deaf ears, the only thing that makes them laugh is when the lollipop lady ticks me off for jaywalking (whatever that is).

3) Buy souvenirs of genuine worth and not just tat which is discarded the moment it's received (eg. A tea mug that says 'my friend went to USA and all he brought back was this lousy mug' or an NYC baseball cap even though I've not been within 1,500 miles of the place).

Time for another cawfee, much more and I'll drown in the stuff. Over and out fae Boca Raton.

Sushi hell

There's a boozer in downtown Boca Raton called The Irishmen and on Thursday evenings runners gather there for a 5km run which culminates with the serving of a pint of craft beer, or so we thought. Last night I persuaded my brother Chris to join me for this run, he needs to shift a bit of timber and I've gone all fitness mad since coming over here so it seemed a good idea. Thing is though, to our eternal shame, when the appointed 5km run began we continued our game of darts instead, missed the run and drove home to eat pizza 😬. Best laid plans and all that. I felt guilty today so ensured my morning run was further than usual, trouble was I forgot to apply sunblock and you can now fry an egg on my face it's so red. Even the dog grimaced when he saw me stagger through the front door.

In better news I've arranged a super Sunday for us this weekend. I've discovered a friendly church to take Taisha, Coralea and Erik to and while we're there I've fixed my brother up with a game of golf after a chance conversation with a bloke I said hi to while out walking. We got chatting and he invited me for a game of golf but Chris will substitute for me, he's well chuffed. He hits the ball a long way but rarely with accuracy, I won't be surprised if a Titleist ProV crashes through the stained glass windows to join us in church.

Tonight I feel will be the low point of my holiday since the Russon Boca Raton crew have nominated it as their 'sushi night'. I cannot stand sushi, life's most pointless dish, so unfulfilling that you need a bag of chips afterwards. I'll probably boycott tonight's family meal and sit in my room listening to a podcast of The Archers instead, I've the omnibus to catch up on.

Have a good weekend everybody.

Golf o'clock

Today's contribution of stuff and nonsense is brought to you early since I've some serious golf watching to do. Don't tell mother but it's 2.30am and I'm interrupting my fourteen day stay in Florida to devote four days solid watching the British Open on telly. In my defence the five hour time lag means the coverage will finish by 2pm local time so that leaves time for a run and a dip before the highlights come on later.

I've been here for a week now so my mind turns to gifts and souvenirs to take back to Blighty. It'll be standard fare I expect; Hershey's chocolate, NYC baseball caps, Stars & Stripes themed tat of all varieties, I'm so predictable. I might have left it too late to send postcards, always a bit of a faux pas to arrive home ahead of your postcards but I look set fair to achieve that distinction yet again. My tan is beginning to take shape, that's to say my face and neck are brown, the rest of me remains whiter than the driven snow. The last timer a Russon got a tanning it was a 7&6 defeat at Stonehaven Golf Club in the 80s and no I'm not naming the chap who delivered it, his ego's already the size of Dundee. 

In a somewhat surreal scene, the family Labrador (Charlie) is chasing a frog around the dimly lit backyard. It's had the better of him for a good ten minutes now so he might as well come back inside to watch the golf with me. Since it's only 2.30am I'm trying not to wake the children but Chris's TV only has two settings; loud and deafening, praps I'll put it on mute instead. The tea in America is undrinkable and there's no milk left for my coffee so I'm refreshment free at present, not a great start to the day but I shouldn't be starting it at 2.30am anyhow I s'pose.

Tonight I'm dragging Chris out on a 5k run, see this link for confirmation as to why he's agreed to it. I've been running every day since I arrived here so fully expect to wipe the floor with him unless he borrows Coralea's scooter. This holiday has been great for me, taught me plenty about myself if that doesn't sound too anal. It does sound too anal but I don't know how else to put it. I'll be disappointed to leave Florida when the day comes (July 27th in case any readers want to pick me up from Aberdeen airport 😬) but I'm gonna be raring to go when I get back. And on that bombshell I'll return to the golf, I don't want to waste any of the forthcoming ten hours coverage. Over and out from me, Charlie and an exhausted frog still hopping around the backyard for dear life.

Tumbleweed and bombing

My repertoire of child friendly jokes doesn't run much beyond 'knock, knock' efforts but I do have a personal favourite which I trotted out to my niece and nephew on our walk to summer camp this morning. To say they were unimpressed with their Uncle Alex's brand of humour would be an understatement, disappointing really since I'd rolled out the heavy artillery and hit them straight up with my favourite gag ever. It's bad enough when kids don't laugh, worse still when your joke requires an explanation. Tumbleweed now surrounds Waters Edge Elementary School, Boca Raton, Florida. For the record, here it is...

'Why do you never go hungry in the desert?'

'Because of all the sand which is there.' 😬

(see, if you join up the words 'sand' and 'whi..', oh never mind)

The kids were well excited, they're at the water park today (parents and guardians not invited, I asked.) Since I won't be present to demonstrate how they should be entering a swimming pool I showed them this video instead, top bombing, poetry in motion...

I chatted again this morning with my new guru, Donna, she's the lollipop lady that walks us across the road to summer camp at 8am and scrapes me off it after my run at 9am. She's a lovely lady and gave me a small gift yesterday, a book of daily insights into how to run your life, this morning I told her about today's entry which described how we should pray with thanks and not always with supplication, to thank God for his work in our lives and not simply present him with a shopping list of requirements, which I confess is my usual style. 

So that's my challenge today, thank God for everything he's given me and not shake my fist at him for what he has not. This has been a pseudo spiritual broadcast from the Russon Party.

Summer, summertime!

Love this track, typifies the relaxed feel of summer here in Florida, hope you enjoy it too.

Instead of water, my new friend here in Florida had something else for me this morning as I staggered to the end of my 5k run. She's a lollipop lady, we chatted yesterday after I'd dropped the kids at summer camp, and today she brought me a gift as a result of the conversation we'd shared. It was the Little Book Of Wisdom, a daily reading aimed at helping you make the right decisions in life, small and big. There's two ways to look at this gift, either a) a damning assessment by her of my intellectual ineptitude or b) simply a kind gesture from a good natured woman. I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt and go with 'b'. 

The run itself was fun although the scenery is taking some getting used to, particularly the waters. The lakes and waterways here boast heron and various types of foliage for me to regard, when I ran past canals back in Walsall, West Midlands though I was accustomed to shopping trolleys, discarded beer cans and wheelie bins floating in the water so it makes a pleasant but stark change.

I'm going to take a few photos today and make up an album on Facebook to share with you, I would include photos here but haven't worked out how to blinkin well do it which is why you keep seeing random cartoons at the top of most posts. The estate the house that I'm staying in is typical of what a Brit might expect of an American homestead; Stars and Stripes everywhere, brilliant sunshine, neat and tidy lawns, palm trees, back garden swimming pools, the whole bit. I'm not sure Aberdeen is ready for a pool in the back garden yet but at least I'd be able to spend an afternoon alongside it without fear of sunburn.

Coralea and Erik were all questions as we walked to their summer camp this morning; do you have candy in Great Britain? Why do you talk to everyone you see? Is it true what poppa says that Aston Villa are the greatest team in England? I answered in the affirmative to questions one and three and explained away number two in the only way I knew how, it's hereditary if you're a Russon so prepare yourselves kids for an awful lotta waffle in your lives to come!

Gimme water

I made a new friend today, although we didn't get off to the greatest of starts. She thought I was Australian, bleedin cheek, still, at least she didn't accuse me of being Welsh. Donna was her name, a school crossing guard or lollipop lady in Britspeak, she took pity on me as I crawled on my hands and knees towards her at the end of a 5k run after I'd dropped the kids off at summer camp. I'd run a couple of blocks (I'm pickin up the lingo already) in stifling heat and wasn't ending my run with much poise, panting like a hot dog and weaving across the sidewalk (there I go again) like a drunken sailor. She shared her water with me and said she'd bring extra tomorrow in case I went running again, I didn't know whether to be grateful or humiliated.

Me and Charlie (3 year old Labrador) had the gaff to ourselves all day, Chris and Taisha were at work. I edited the first draft of my latest book (ooh, get me!). I'm halfway through and haven't felt moved to rip it up and start again quite yet which is a good sign, although I hope Charlie's snoring as I recited an extract wasn't prophetic. He barks sporadically, usually when one of those wee lizards scuttles across the backyard, and he licks my feet under the dining table, I don't know who comes off worse in that encounter.

My tan has advanced from milk bottle white to a kind of tartare sauce cream if that's not too vulgar an image, Russons don't tan so don't expect me to come home looking like David Dickinson. I'm going to spend more time outdoors tomorrow mind which may nudge me from a shade of cream into grey, we'll see. I'll take a gander around the area, maybe shoot some hoops in my sneaks or bust some rhymes down in the hood, either that or buy an English newspaper to read over my beans on toast. Over and out from downtown Boca Raton.

Lazy Sunday in Florida

The tee-shirt tan is progressing nicely despite the fact I've spent the bulk of my time in front of the television. I don't care if I'm visiting the eighth wonder of the world, if Wimbledon and the golf's on the telly I'm watching it. It gets better next week, the British Open Golf is on the goggler wall to wall for the entire week and I'll be making it my business to hoover up every last minute. 

I went to church this morning and got collared by a welcoming committee including a bloke called Tom who was tickled pink to meet a Brit. When he learned I lived in Scotland he asked me if I knew a guy called Alistair Begg, no word of a lie, as if Scotland housed just a handful of individuals all of whom I knew. Nice guy though and I'll see him again when I return on Thursday night, he strong armed me into attending a 'men's event', the steaks and ribs sold it to me.

Back at base and Taisha's friends are visiting from Miami, half a dozen fun-filled Haitian nationals are larking around in the swimming pool and enjoying themselves far too much than is permitted for a lazy Sunday afternoon. I've taken the trouble to park myself in front of the golf indoors instead, I wouldn't want to crowd the poolside so have done the decent thing. Chris is making me coffee and Coralea sharing chocolate cupcakes, life is tough here in Florida and no mistake. Tomorrow I'm going to drop the kids off at summer camp then go for a run during which I may well perish in searing heat so if there's no blog posting tomorrow you'll know why.

Legoland

I skirmished with Legoland today, Chris and I dropping his kids off before we skidaddled to meet friends of mine a half hour drive away. Talk about random, here I am vacationing in Florida at the very same time as a couple I know fae Aberdeen so we met up for lunch. This time last week we were drinking tea after a church service in Bridge Of Don, today we find ourselves devouring pasta while looking out at a Floridian storm.

Coralea and Erik loved Legoland and had the good sense not to get Legoland driving licences which gives them an excuse to insist on a return, smart kids. They dodged the downpours to have a terrific time, these rains really are dramatic, a ten step scurry from car park to restaurant and you still end up looking like a drowned rat. Chris takes drowned rat status a step further by indulging in random leaps fully clothed into his back garden swimming pool, he's as nutty now as he was as a kid, I don't believe he's still starting camp fires in his bedroom these days but wouldn't put it past him.

The real entertainment came at the end of today when Chris attempted to check us into the hotel he'd booked earlier. Legoland is three hours from his home so he'd booked accommodation for us to crash in before our return the following morning. Trouble was, the hotel double booked and refused us. The steam coming out of Chris's ears blew the wig off the man standing next in line, Chris was apoplectic, his protest long and loud...but fruitless. He called the manager, emailed the manager's boss, kicked up the stink to end all stinks but to no avail, we had to clamber back into the motor and head home to Fort Lauderdale. He got a free night's accommodation by way of compensation but that didn't prevent his right foot taking his frustration out on the accelerator pedal, we were back home in the blink of an eye.

Since arriving here I've turned sleeping into an Olympic sport, setting new records in lengths of sleep not seen since tolerating goalless draws at Villa Park under McLeish's reign. Still, I'm on ollerdee to relax not run a marathon and I'm starting a new job when I get back so need a healthy dose of R&R in preparation. Tomorrow I'll find a church service to attend then watch Mr Federer win Wimbledon yet again although I feel duty bound to point out that he's never beaten me in a game of tennis so by default I'm effectively as good as him.

Lazy day no 1.

I can confirm jet lag is a truth not a theory, I've slept like a baby all day. I didn't manage a wink on the nine hour flight yesterday and couldn't sleep last night either so spent the bulk of my first day in Florida snoring my head off. 

Later on I roused myself to collect my niece and nephew Coralea (9) and Erik (6) from their holiday camp, they're off to Legoland in Orlando tomorrow too, life sure is tough for young kids in Florida.

It's a small world. Despite being 3,500 miles fae Aberdeen I'm lunching tomorrow with a friend from Bridge Of Don Baptist Church,  Brian Foreman, he's over on holiday. Poor chap can't shake me off. I'll post some pics tomorrow, I meant to today but the rains came in so I didn't get chance. Chris's gaff is fantastic, swimming pool, mod cons , spacious rooms, it's starting to feel like home already.

We stopped off at a golf centre round the corner, I might get 9 holes in one early morning before the searing heat knocks me over. Chris dropped off his mutt Charlie for two nights at the dog hotel while we're up in Orlando, the animal wouldn't budge knowing he was to be separated from his master, the temptation of dog biscuits did the trick though. I'm knackered and off to bed, apologies for the low-key account of day one but I've spent it on autopilot, gonna attack tomorrow full-on though. Grrrr!

Bedlam next stop...

I'm not superstitious so the seagull that deposited it's digested breakfast upon me as I walked down Union Street this morning can go to hell. There I was, minding my own business, skipping along to catch a bus to the airport and wallop, a pesky seagull let's fly and my trousers now give the appearance that I'm a painter & decorator. It's tough being a Christian sometimes, I often ask God why he created seagulls and pigeons. And Birmingham City.

I made Aberdeen airport in good time for the flight to Gatwick where I now find myself sitting in a departure lounge for three hours before the connecting flight to Florida. The first flight went well, I snored all the way since it was an early one but the pilot's attempt at landing was aborted due to aerial clutter. The old granny next to me was having kittens, I tried to console her but she was having none of it, convinced the end was nigh. She looked about ninety years of age so she might well be right if that's not too heartless a sentiment.

Chris told me to bring two things to Florida to keep his good wife happy; a box of Oxo cubes and a huge white chocolate Toblerone. Well there's good news and there's bad news. I acquired both but only one remains and you can guess which one met its end, let's put it this way, the remaining item would typically be used as stock for a casserole. Well you try sitting in an airport departure lounge for four hours staring at a tube of Toblerone, don't tell me you wouldn't crack. I'll make up for it, they give you a boiled sweet on the plane so I'll give that to Taisha instead, I know she'll understand.

Gatwick airport is massive, I had to get a tram from one terminal to another and there's more retail outlets than Union Square. Thankfully it's not too busy though, word must have spread that I was headed this way so people have put their jollies off for another twenty four hours. There was a stag party in full swing at the airport bar, I bypassed grown men in fancy dress drinking themselves to a standstill, it's kinda surreal watching Mickey Mouse and Charlie Chaplin in conversation over a pint of lager. For my part I'm off in search of a telly to watch Wimbledon and to drink the first of several cups of coffee. Is Florida ready for a pebble dashed Englishman full of white chocolate and high on excitement? We will see, but more to the point is this Englishman ready for two weeks of his youngest brother's breathtaking antics and random recipes? I love you Chris and one of the things I love most is your uniqueness, however, the prospect of a fortnight's cheddar cheese curries, carrot and pineapple soup and blue steaks garnished with haggis salads does not fill me with glee. We'll get through though I know it, or we'll have Mum to contend with.

Aberdeen 0-1 Florida

Well the die is cast, the tickets booked and I'm off to Florida for a fortnight. Me and my youngest brother Chris sharing a fortnight together, what can go wrong? I love you dearly brother but somehow we manage to wind each other right up, this time though I'm goin all out to be the perfect guest, you'll see. I'll wrestle crocodiles for you if they approach the back garden and I'll be the ready made child sitter for my niece and nephew anytime you please. All I ask in return is oceans of macaroni cheese, gallons of pop (or have you started calling it soda now?) and wall to wall Sky Sports.

I'll be travelling light because I'm tight and refuse to cough up for excess baggage on the plane. There are people I'm going to miss like mad while over there so forgive the blubbing if I get homesick, in the event that I do get melancholic maybe shove on this video of Villa beating Albion in '90, that Daley goal still sends shivers down my spine. Wind it on to 16 seconds and watch the 30 seconds that follow, magic stuff. To make it better the tackle preceeding the goal was by my second favourite Villa player then the killer pass by my all-time favourite, sweet!

I was in the Albion end that day, standing next to Dave Edwards, I nearly tore the sleeve from his jacket when that goal went in, if I'd have jumped up I'd have been toast. Watch the away end go nuts when the ball hits the net, awesome.

See you Wednesday Chris, I'll be the one looking white, fatigued but excited.